


22 minutes

by exyjunkies



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Haunted Houses, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sad Ending, Tragedy, and andrew tells him to move on, they fight for a bit, this is the result of a plot bunny that i couldn't get out of my head, wherein neil is a ghost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15416130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exyjunkies/pseuds/exyjunkies
Summary: It’s been almost three years since the accident. And a small part of Andrew was uneasy, if not scared, about Neil still not being able to transition to the afterlife.





	22 minutes

**Author's Note:**

> this came from a fic prompt I got on [my Tumblr](http://exyjunkies.tumblr.com/post/176233114812/14-andreil-hey-im-with-you-okay): "14 + Andreil? (“Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”)"

Andrew has often thought of how a clock, something built to tell time, can fail at its very function the moment it’s set wrong. The thought was unnerving, really, because it only strengthens the truth that time was one of the many things that was out of anybody’s control.

One of the other things was change. The Columbia house, for all its glory and all the moments it’s lived through, cannot fight against the wishes of time. Though it did look like it tried to put up the best fight it could possibly attempt. The windows, some slightly cracked and others difficult to open, merely provided glimpses into how much the structure has been through. The  _welcome_  mat had the letter O blacked out by ash, from the one time Nicky had set it on fire. The doorbell still worked, but the button was long gone from its mechanism. The house paint was peeling off, and the plants around the side of the house were long gone.

It’s been almost three years since _that_ day. Everyone Andrew knows has told him that this, what he was doing, wasn’t helping anyone move on with the natural course of things. Not him. Not Neil.

Walking up to the house, Andrew wondered when he’ll ever stop wanting to coming back.

He checked the time on his watch. 11:38 PM.

He doesn’t think twenty-two minutes will be enough to ready himself for what was coming.

(Really, he doesn’t think any amount of time will  _ever_  be enough.)

The doorknob is cold and unsettling to the touch as ever. Andrew opened the door, and a wind blew in his face. He coughed because of the dust that got to his nose. A few seconds later, he heard the night crickets outside drift to a steady silence.

 _Nice job, Josten_. Shaking his head, Andrew brought out his flashlight, and shone a light throughout the dark house.

When they (Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky) had bought the Columbia house in their freshmen year, it was mostly empty, save for the appliances that the seller was generous enough to leave them. They acquired a microwave, a blender, and a pressure cooker (that none of them knew how to use until their third year). It was a really spacious house, which meant the three of them was free to fill it with whatever they deemed was necessary for each of their survivals. Money was no object.

So Nicky was in charge of furnishing, while Aaron made to call in men for the repairs, and Andrew shouldered costs and looked over where things were supposed to go. After three months of arguments and fussing about, it was done, and they had a place to stay whenever they needed to get away from Palmetto State. They began bringing Kevin along a few weeks later. It was a team effort to put the house together, that much Andrew knew.

Nicky and Aaron were not the least bit surprised, then, when Andrew and Neil had ended up taking over the house later on. Nicky had a place with Erik in Germany, and Aaron was in med school with Katelyn in another state. This was around the time Neil had graduated and was well on his way to an offer with the US Court, and Andrew was being bombarded with the same offer from the US Court that he had rejected the previous year. Andrew remembered walking into the living room and seeing Neil with both contract proposals from the Court’s recruitment team.

Leaning against the wall, he had waited until Neil noticed he was there at all.

 _You’re not seriously judging me for going through job offers_. Neil’s tone had been playful, a smirk on his face that was probably amused at Andrew’s glowering.

 _It’s more of an addiction for you, junkie_.

 _It’s what’s keeping me alive. Sorry if this life is so addicting_.

_You know, if you needed someone to go with you and hold your hand, that’s not going to be me._

_Yeah?_ At this, Neil had put the papers on their coffee table, stood up, and walked over to where Andrew was standing. In the years that they had known each other, Andrew had not grown taller, but Neil had two inches added to his height. The smile on his lips not withdrawing, he crossed his arms and looked Andrew square in the face.

_Then how are you going to stare at my ass from behind if you’re not in the games with me?_

Andrew remembered looking up at Neil’s face, unimpressed. _Tell me one good reason why I should go back to that game again_.

 _You know the gig’s not half as bad as you make it out to be_. Then Andrew had glared, turned around, and walked away.

A few hours ago, both of them had signed with the US Court, and were set to start practices next week. Once they had both gotten the notification, Neil had looked and did his best not to burst out laughing.

 _I am irresistible_ , he had declared, winking at Andrew.

 _One week, huh,_ Andrew had muttered, hoisting a laughing Neil up on his arms and carrying him back to their bedroom. _We shouldn’t waste any time then._

Andrew shone his flashlight around the living room, the furniture in it now dusty and chipped. Their sofa _still_ had that gash across the middle, and their pillows had almost all the stuffing falling out and frayed. The television set, once a flatscreen and of the highest quality, now couldn’t be switched on or even plugged in. A circle of dustless surface was on the coffee table, where the last ever coffee cup used to be. Andrew didn’t know if Neil had taken the coffee cup off, or if someone had gone in to take it. Honestly, it didn’t really matter anymore.

To the side, their bookshelf was still crammed with books, half of which they never got to read together. Near it was another shelf, which held framed photos and some souvenirs from the countries they got to travel to. A mini Eiffel Tower, a golden cat that used to wave its paw, a box of one red chopstick because they lost the other one. A tiny Mexican hat, from the first time they flew anywhere. Andrew surveyed the photographs, looked at the all the faces. A family portrait, with him, Neil, and Sir Fat Cat and King Fluffkins. They had taken it intending for it to be a Christmas card, but Neil liked it so much he wanted it to be the family’s copy and theirs only. A picture of him and Aaron, arms around each other’s shoulders, taken by Neil himself. And beside it, a picture that Andrew had taken of Neil holding one of Dan and Matt’s kids, from when they babysat for the couple.

Of the two of them, Neil had been more vocal about wanting kids, simply because Andrew was rarely ever outspoken about anything. Andrew had it memorized – that look of want that Neil used to have, whenever one of Dan’s kids would bring him something they had drawn or whenever they wanted something from their kitchen. Neil had both been subtle (adoption flyers lying around the counter) and obvious (bringing it up when they were in bed, before they went to sleep). But what he didn’t know was that it was a fleeting want between the both of them, something that never happened only because they were too busy with everything else.

Looking at his watch, Andrew saw that he had seven minutes before midnight.

“You don’t mind if I’m a little early, do you?”

The voice had come a little too close behind him, but Andrew had learned to calm himself down. Neil never meant to scare him, even if his hair stood on end almost every time this happened. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. _Inhale. Exhale. That’s it._

He turned around, and behind him was Neil.

In his spiritual, yet most corporeal, form.

A ghost.

“You were always one for surprises,” Andrew whispered, tightening his grip around his flashlight. Neil looked back at him, shrugging in the most Neil-like fashion.

Ever since Neil had become this state, he was always different. Sometimes, he was his cheery, annoying self, following Andrew around the house and talking his ear off. There have been times when he was an angrier, snappier version of himself, levitating objects around the house and throwing them against the walls. Most of the time though, Neil was merely a shell of himself, less responsive, drifting out of reality from time to time.

He liked it when Andrew came to visit, which was twice or thrice a week. Always around midnight, and not for more than half an hour. Neil had explained, once before, that there wasn’t much spiritual energy around their part of South Carolina for him to stay long. Andrew didn’t know much about the supernatural and ghosts and spirits, so he took Neil’s word for it.

At the start, Neil being a ghost had helped Andrew cope with his death, had helped him mourn the loss. The shock had lasted quite a while, and then the anger came. Andrew was not proud of how he handled himself.

It was a day like any other, specifically a day when Neil was home and Andrew was out, taking care of the groceries. Between the both of them, no one knew that Lola Malcolm hadn’t been caught by the FBI, and was instead on the lookout for Neil to seek her revenge. Andrew had come home to the struggle between Lola and Neil, and hell had broken loose from there.

Andrew had succeeded in getting a knife through Lola’s head through her eye, but not until after she had shot Neil in the stomach. There was blood everywhere. And the hospital could only do so much that much blood loss. Andrew threatened as many doctors and nurses as he could, but he couldn’t change what had happened. Neil was in a coma for a good eight months, before the doctors had the talk with Andrew regarding pulling the plug.

A voice had come up behind him, in that hospital hallway, and whispered, “ _Let me go, Andrew. The machines are terrible. It hurts so, so much_.”

It took Andrew another month before he could agree to pull the plug. Wymack, Betsy, Abby, and the Foxes, both the old and the new, were there with Andrew, and that was that. No fancy funeral. No televised news about Neil’s death. No articles in the newspapers, no interviews with the sports channels.

Just a cremation, a jar, and Neil’s ashes, sitting in one of the Columbia house’s cupboards.

It’s been almost three years since the accident. And a small part of Andrew was uneasy, if not scared, about Neil still not being able to transition to the afterlife.

Three years.

Neil put his hand to Andrew’s arm, and Andrew shivered. He could feel the faintest sensation through his shirt sleeve. He saw Neil solidify a bit more and sigh in relief.

“I get the feeling that you have something to tell me that couldn’t wait.”

“We’ve got all the time in the world, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Seventeen years of marriage doesn’t help you become a better liar, dummy.”

Andrew gritted his teeth. He frowned at Neil. “Yeah, well, the real world doesn’t make me deal with the truth any better, either.”

“And what _has_ been happening in the real world?” Neil’s voice was less interested and more of a drone. As if it was draining him to push every single word out. He went to sat down on their sofa, and continued, “Tell me a story.”

So Andrew told him. About Renee and Emilio’s third son, who was born premature and had to stay in the incubator for a few weeks. About Allison and her fiancé, and their upcoming wedding in the Bahamas. About Nicky and Erik visiting for Christmas this December. About Aaron and Katelyn opening up a new private practice in the east. About Robin and her girlfriend, and how she had been coaching the Foxes for almost seven years now. About Wymack in a plush and comfortable retirement home that just happens to adore Exy and him, so they had no problem with Kevin’s specifications. About Dan and Matt starting an Exy Little League, and how it was going to be bigger than they had anticipated. About how he and Kevin were still with the Court.

“But you know how I keep thinking of,” Andrew broke off, inhaling a little shakily. He sat beside Neil. “Of resigning. They have enough goalkeepers there anyway.”

Neil did a lifeless _haha_ and replied, “Good luck. Last time I joked about you leaving, Chief always said that wouldn’t happen. “ _Not on my watch, Josten._ ” With the gruff disagreement and all. That kinda shit.”

“It doesn’t do anything for me anymore.”

Which was true. Financially, Andrew was set for (what he believed were) the remaining years of his life, and he still had some of his fortune from his teenage years to add to his Court savings. He didn’t really care much for the Exy celebrity life, and he only had a few friends in the sports industry and even less of a desire to make more. On top of that, the only reason why he was still with the Court was because of Kevin, who was still a little above twenty-five years or so from retirement. Kevin was convinced that he and Andrew would be together on the team until then.

Every single day with the team and playing Exy served to be a reminder to Andrew about just how much Neil lived for the sport. They had played games with one off the court, but when they were both on the court together, they were a force to be reckoned with. Eventually, everyone had ended up looking forward to the games that had the both of them on the lineup.

Now that Neil was gone… well. Andrew could still close off the goal when the team needed it, but even the least invested fan could see that games against the US National Team were less exciting now. It was something no one dared to speak of.

“Well, you know I wouldn’t mind if you did,” Neil said, leaning back and closing his eyes. Or at least that’s what it looked like to Andrew. “Resign, I mean.”

They sat in silence for a long time after that, Andrew and his arm on the couch’s arm rest, and Neil sitting back on the couch. It was never an uncomfortable silence, that much they both had to be thankful for. From time to time, Andrew looked over and watched Neil do his best to materialize, take as much energy as he could from the ground, sometimes from Andrew. But then Andrew knew Neil always felt bad about tiring him out, so the touches were subtle. Andrew didn’t want to admit that it was more draining than he let on.

Besides, if it meant that he could see Neil a little better, then Andrew would hold onto Neil himself – if Neil wouldn’t violently lash out and throw Andrew off of him.

“Ugh, we never really got this house to look the way it should,” Neil suddenly said, his eyes darting around the room. Andrew snapped out of his thoughts.

“Your eye for real estate is charming, junkie.”

“Shut up. This place was a dump before I got here.”

Andrew felt his mouth twitch up a bit at that, and he saw Neil laughing quietly. For a bit, he looked almost… _alive_.

“Yeah,” he murmured, shifting closer. “You were a real lifesaver.”

Neil looked Andrew in the eyes, and smiled.

Then, as if a spell broke, he suddenly closed his eyes and groaned slightly. “Ugh.”

“What?” Andrew was alert, a bit of panic rising in him. “Anything I could do?”

“No, I just,” Neil stopped, facing away from Andrew. After a beat, he spoke up again.

“This _always_ happens. I hate it.”

“What does?”

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know,” Neil scolded, a little sadly. “Me wanting to hold your hand, or me wanting to kiss you, and then remembering that— that I’m just… _this_.”

 _And here I was, about to tell him that he has to move on_. “Neil, please don’t do this.”

“Don’t do _what?_ ” Neil snapped, standing up suddenly, making his form waver a bit. Andrew was starting to feel his own anger too. It was anger not at Neil, but at the situation that led to this. He did his best to keep it down and put two fingers to the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t… _ugh_ — don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Neil looked down at him, a little confused. Then, understanding showed on his face, along with a _very_ pissy mood.

“Oh. Okay. I see how it is.”

In all the years that they’ve been married, they’ve had their fights, and they’ve each had their share of faults. After everything though, they always, _always_ made it a point to resolve their issues. This was because of the two of them, Neil was the one that hated going to sleep with something wrong between them.

Still, they were human, so nothing was as perfect as how the movies almost always made everything out to be. Andrew tended to be unresponsive a lot of the time, because he didn’t believe in wasting a single breath on useless things, and Neil always had some smart remark prepared to everything because he liked being the last say, so compromises were only arrived at after a _lot_ of work.

So of course, this meant things always had to get messy before they get fixed.

“Neil,” Andrew began, standing up and taking a few steps away from Neil. “You know it’s been far too long. It’s unnatural.”

“So is being murdered at the age of _46_ , Andrew!” Neil yelled, the ground shaking a little, just because he can make it shake. “This is so unfair. I’m _not_ fucking ready.”

“And no one ever is,” Andrew replied, stepping forward slowly. It was so hard to keep himself composed, but he knew he had to do it. “But I’m telling you now. You’re not doing yourself any favors by staying here.”

“Wow, _now_ you’re telling me about what’s best for me. Well, _news-fucking-flash_ , Andrew Minyard. I think I can handle myself.”

“No, you _can’t!_ If you can, you would’ve been gone from this place a long damn time ago. You know I’m making sense. _You’re not human anymore, Josten_. You have to fucking accept that.”

 “And what about you, huh? What is it about me that keeps you coming back? I’m ‘not human anymore’? Fine. Then why do _you_ keep going here, at the crack-of-God’s-ass ‘o clock, visiting me?”

“Because I _care about you_ , idiot. Don’t you think it hurts me to see you like this, too?”

“Oh, boo-freaking- _hoo_ , Andrew Minyard is still alive, get me a tissue.”

Andrew exhaled, getting the rage out of his system before he did anything drastic. Crossing his arms, he said the one thing that’s been on his mind ever since he got there.

“So if I went and offed myself. Would that help?”

Neil, as always, doesn’t properly listen when he’s in the heat of the moment. “If you— _what_?”

Clearing his throat, Andrew repeated himself.

“If I died. Passed away. Left this life. Etcetera etcetera. Would you finally move on to the afterlife?”

“You’re being ridiculous. Where did you get that dumb idea? It’s not that easy.”

“Then what, for God’s sake, would make it easy—”

“ _Nothing_ , Andrew! _Don’t you fucking understand_?”

Neil’s outburst was so strong that a wind blew through the house, and every door in the house began openning and slamming back shut. Andrew was taken aback. The pressure in the room was so strong, and the doors were so _loud_. He shut his eyes and took a few more breaths to steady himself. Anger and fear was not the greatest combination to deal with.

_Easy, Minyard._

After calming down himself, Neil shook his head.

“Don’t you get it?” He started again, less harshly this time. “My entire childhood, I never got to make any part of it mine. It was always, new nickname this time around, or new state the next month, or new house to break into later on. Mom died, and I had to live with her voice of disappointment wherever I went. It was absolutely miserable. And then I came across Exy, which gave me the chance to take a small part of it back. For myself.

“And then the Foxes came along, and. And you guys were _everything_. Not from the start, no. At the start, a lot of you were major assholes,” At this, Andrew nodded in agreement, and Neil continued, “But then you guys became family. And every game that Palmetto State got me to, gave me even more and more reasons to keep going. Wymack was, sort of, the father I never knew I needed. And somewhere along the way, I saw you in a way that I never saw anyone else before, and, well, I guess the rest was history.

“I finally, finally had the life I wanted. And I had that life to share with you. It wasn’t perfect, and it sure took some work getting there, what with my father and the Moriyamas and all, but I made it. _I was myself_. And I had that going for me for a long time. Seventeen years with you was wonderful. But I knew I wanted the lifetime package. But then Lola came that day, and… and took it all away. Just when I was just getting ready for the long haul.”

Neil sat back down, leaving Andrew absolutely speechless. This was a side of Neil that he has never heard before. A lot of things were going on in his mind right now, and none of them was the right thing to say in this situation.

“Do you know what I was doing that day, Andrew?” Neil continued, not looking up at him. “Because I do. I still fucking remember. I was about to put in a call for this house I wanted, just outside of South Carolina. Somewhere in Pontiac. Matt told me about a really good deal by a friend of his, so I went to check the house out a couple weeks back. I was going to say yes to the realtor and put in the first payment. It was going to be a surprise.”

Sitting back down carefully, Andrew made sure to look at Neil this time, listening to everything he had to say. He put his hand on top of Neil’s spirit one, watching Neil’s materialized face shed a tear.

“ _Shit_ ,” Andrew whispered. He hated seeing Neil cry. “I never knew.”

“Yeah,” Neil sniffled, putting his hand to his face and wiping off a tear. “It’s because I did my best to keep the secret this time around.”

And they stayed like that, staring into each other’s eyes, for a little bit longer. Andrew could only hear his heartbeat, the crickets outside, and Neil’s labored breathing, from his entire dialogue earlier.

“Andrew,” Neil murmured. “I’m scared.”

Gritting his teeth, Andrew replied, “I am too. It was _hell_ to lose you the first time. But this is something you have to do.” After a beat, he added, “It’ll get easier.”

When Neil didn’t reply, Andrew put his lips to where he saw Neil’s cheek was, and kissed. Andrew didn’t feel anything, but Neil let out a humorless chuckle.

“Thanks for trying, asshat,” he said, and Andrew knew they were okay again. He didn’t really know what to say next, so he only nodded. Neil inhaled, exhaled, and clenched both his fists.

“Fine. I’ll stop being a ghost stuck in the past,” Neil said, and stood up. He rolled his shoulders back, and stretched his neck. “The afterlife can’t be _that_ bad.”

“If you get sent to hell, _please_ reserve my slot.”

“You _know_ there’s one with your name on it already.”

They could sit there and joke about it for another hour, and it still wouldn’t make the goodbye any better. Neil was off staring at absolutely nothing, like he was trying to find the words to make it easier. Andrew knew this, so he stood up with Neil, staring into the same nothingness.

“Hey,” Neil said, after another long, quiet minute. “I’m with you, okay?”

Andrew thought about how a clock can fail to tell time the moment it was set wrong. It was a fact of life that he used to be frustrated with, because he had wanted to go back and change the past. He had wished he did things differently, sway the odds in his favor. Do the groceries the previous day instead. Get home a little earlier. Kill Lola before she got to shoot Neil.

But now, Andrew knew that he needed to stop playing god. Every single thing in the universe was going to come and go, no matter what anyone did, and nobody could change that.

What made everything more bearable, Andrew knew, was the people that he went through time with.

“Always,” he replied, looking at Neil one last time. He couldn’t believe this was going to be the last time. The tightness in his chest was enough to stop him from breathing.

It was almost like he was losing Neil all over again.

Neil smiled sadly at Andrew, almost as if he was trying to hold back more tears.

Then, he looked up, and he was gone. And for the first time since he had bought the house, Andrew was on his own.

For the first time, Andrew was alone.


End file.
